Yesterday I found out that when I checked in to the hospital, my due date had been incorrectly tracked. I lost two days. Now this may not seem like a big deal to some of you, but I know that those of you that have been on strict bed rest can sympathize with what I am feeling.
When I found out I would be 27 weeks today, rather than last Monday, I lost it. I sobbed for about an hour, which I'm sure had nothing to do with being constantly scared, medicated, overtired, or worried. Two days feels like two years, when you are desperately counting the days to get to at least 28. Every morning I wake up, I sigh relief that I made it through the night, and as soon as possible, I cross off another day on my calendar. Two days felt like defeat.
I pulled myself together with the help of a nurse, who helped me see some sort of clarity. She reminded me that I am doing well, am still pregnant, and even though two days may feel like forever, it's really not in the whole scheme of things.
You know you've been at a hospital too long when you have worn through your hospital ID bracelet, you know all the names of all the nurses, CNA's, custodial staff, and start to make conversation with the cafeteria crew when you call in your meal order. Yes too long, but I am so lucky to be here.
Yes, this has been a very long haul, but I am grateful for each day that I am here and still pregnant.